wow. It's been 10 years just like that.
I always wanted to keep this blog up and I'm glad I did. I don't ever intend to archive my posts now because they are apart of who I was and still am. I would only archive it for privacy purposes. It makes me grateful that I lived those experiences, those things I learnt the hard way which helped me grow and the things I've learnt I've been spoilt with.
When I started my blog, I was in high school still surrounded by friends and I would spend every day together with them. I would write about the fun things that happened in school or I would write intentially vague to keep things to myself. When I see those lines I think "what the fuck was I even talking about" LOL.
Then university started, there was shift in dynamics socially. Suddenly everyone was split up and not compelled to be together because of external reasons like school. Collectively, we all felt the loss of not being around people we were familar with, I think thats why there were so many house parties and social events back then just out of high school. We were trying to rekindle that shared exprience of belonging and existing as part of a bigger community. It was something we did not know was fleeting. When I think back, I'm grateful for having a big vietnamese cohort at my school for the very reason that there was still a sense of community without the school being integral.
During my university days, I began to write more vulnerably, maybe becoming more self-aware and honest with myself but probably growing more independant as an adult. I'm surprised at how well I wrote back then when I did want to express myself seriously. I don't think I could write that well now yet. I stopped posting possibly through lack of motivation, my friends weren't post anymore or maybe there was nothing I wanted to share anymore. I had a lot to work through back then.
Now approaching 30, I want to continue this blog. The ongoing theme throughout these posts will be my journey with my thoughts. It feels so performative, back then and even now but I want to do this for myself now. I don't feel the nessecity to hide how I feel and how I am percieved anymore. I'm confident in my thoughts and feelings and my rationale. I feel the most content I have ever been. I'm sure I said that at 25 years old too but I have grown a lot since then. I still have a lot to learn. I value emotional intelligence and empathy. Two things that in my teens I thought I could do without. Nowadays, I find that empathy is such a valuable learned muscle to 'grow' not just to practice for others but myself as well. I have a lot I want to post about but mostly I want to commit to penning my thoughts because they just float around and it'd be nice to place them somewhere.
I'm not pragmatic in my thoughts and I'm not eloquent in my writing and I think my vocabulary is my strongest asset but I strive to be better and hope this will help me along the way.
p.s. I want to keep the format the same as those 10 long years ago and I may write some japanese along the way.
- Lyhnn
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