disappointment ;

Devastated. One minute adequate situation and then the next minute. Feel like drinking my feelings away. Wish I could hey.

You know how disappointment eats away at you, well that disappointment that has all built up. Especially disappointing someone close but immature is very upsetting because they'll keep reminding you, over and over and over, and you know what you can choose to ignore those things too but I'll break down for them this one time to let them know that I have feelings too, how immature they are and how much of a bully they are being. I'm always carefree and happy but that does NOT mean I do not feel anything. Oh they're disappointed?? How do you think I feel??? Now the guilt every time I see you. God I felt like vomitting. curse myself for feeling like that wtf.

I don't even feel like eating god that rare intense guilt/sadness. Don't feel like doing anything.

Today I went to Duyen's Birthday. Ate cake gave her her present talked a bit with Jaz, Yen, Sang and Hong then went home.

I'm not over thinking you know, over-reacting maybe lol. that disappointment though. it's that disappointment that causes so many suicides in korea and jap every year. Ofc I'm too chicken to do anything like that haha just feel really bad. Always going to be at the back of my mind.

- Lyhnn